So, we done red nose day early at my school. We were doing all different activities and i went in to a room and he was there hosting an activity called "Stick the nose on the face" (Don't ask!) anyways there was a teacher there and i asked her what all this was and he answers me!!!! We had a mini conersation and then i realised and said "You're talking to me" and he went "Yeah"
WHAT THE HELL?! I did the game thingie, hey it is for charity! And he had to blindfold me, i was surprised i actually trusted him! Anyways i got outta there and talked to a mutal friend and she had a chat with him. He says he wants to see how things go... Once again i say "what the hell?" And also his timing is CRAP! I mean five months ago i was at the movies seeing a film i had waited for ages to see and he texts me and says we are breaking up. Now, when i was so close to getting over him, he talks to me! I don't know how to feel or what to think. Totally numb, for now. I shall just have to wait until monday... URGH! A part of me wants to scream, another part of me wants to laugh (Through happiness or sheer confusion, i can't tell) All i know is that i have to get through the whole weekend, waiting to see. But i will still go ahead with my "leaving here" plan. not sure what else to write. Did i mention my english teacher liked my poems?? Well, she did, YAY!
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poetry of the damned
It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.
untitled
perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.
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