Holiday

Easter holidays start today. It sucks. I'll be spending the whole two weeks alone thinking of him and missing him like hell and being bored. I'll have to study for math, even though I'm getting smarter in that area. Also my art work has to be done. And i have to read a play for English lit. That will keep me busy for a day.

An apology...

...Is all i ask from him.

lies, ties and a random prize

I'm still covering for him, i had to play dumb to protect his stupid secret then i had to inform our tutor that someone is on to him which makes me feel quite small. URGH! I promised myself i would never get involved in his affairs again but i couldn't let him get hurt by this could i? But this is it now if the subject comes up again, i'll walk away. Either that or i'll bloody take the fall, i'm probably stupid enough... Today is a very bad day and it's only 9.00 am. I do not want to go to classes i just want to stay home and eat chocolate and ice cream. But life doesn't work that way. Jo walked me home from club the other night, we talked and she really made me feel better. I found out stuff i would never have guessed at. I suppose it just goes to show that even when you think you know someone, they're still full of surprises. Never assume.

what to do?

College of my dreams but I'll have to stay here for two extra years? Or a college i never heard of until a few months ago but has a reputation of being good and has accommodation far far away? I don't know!!!!!

Vent

Well, never thought i would say this but the People at my school are actually quite fun. I have a feeling that i got on his nerves today, it kinda cheered me up! I know that makes me sound mean but after all the shit he has put me through can you blame me? What it is is that he always thinks that he's better than me, especially at math but today we were told we were at the same level in math! The look on his face was hilarious but also hurtful. Why can't he be happy that I'm finally getting somewhere in life? Come to think of it, it must have been a great ego boost having a girl mope and lose herself over him, now that boost is gone... It's gotta sting. Not to mention everyone kept saying how great i looked with my new hair, funny thing is he got a hair cut too (He usually has quite floppy hair but today it was a lot shorter) and nobody even mentioned it... I think that got on his nerves as well. Still turning my back to him whenever he walks into a room or when he sits next to me in math. We looked at each other at the same time and looked away at the same time in assembly, the synchronization was kinda cool. His voice, so all knowing and bossy really got on my nerves today. This is one long, moaning post. But i feel a little better for venting.

Thrown away

I threw away my old phone, therefore eliminating any possible contact between us. Well, he could call me on the home phone, but he doesn't have the balls to do that, in case one of the parental units answers... Come to think of it we just got a call, it was a wrong number, wonder if it was him? Mom wouldn't recognise his voice after all this time... They withheld their number... OK I'm being an idiot. He doesn't want anything to do with me. It's just he looks so miserable when i see him. I can't remember when we used to hang out very clearly (I find it easier to block things out) but I'm sure he looked happier, more real, more genuine. Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe i should just forget about him, for good.