So pretty

I have picked my outfit for awards ceremony! It looks brilliant! I can't wait! Yay!

light at the end of the very long tunnel

I'm OK. i am still totally alone but misunderstandings have been cleared up and things are looking brighter. He is out of my mind again and that is how (hopefully) it will stay.

The point being...?

What's the point when you can't even turn to your own family for support? I am slipping again, i don't give a damn. There's not really a point in caring when everything you love gets ripped from you anyway. I just want one good, happy day. I wanted my night, to be my night. But i can't even have that. I need to get away, but that's the problem with having no money, nowhere to go and no one to turn to. You get stuck, there's no way out. Whenever i used to feel like this i used to turn to him and now i can't and every time i remember that it tears a new hole inside me.

I am...

So bloody bored, I've spent the past four nights with no sleep and to pass that time i watched Disney films which s never a good idea since i always blubber over them... Ah well. Oh by the way, IT'S TOO HOT FOR WORDS, IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!! x

leaving, in 3, 2, 1... Now

Everything went fine, it was a little sad saying goodbye but all in all a very good send off i must say! OK, gotta go! x

I am freaking out!

I want to sleep, but i can't. Because if i sleep I'll soon wake up, then if i wake up, tomorrow will be here and it will really be happening, it will happen and then it would have happened. God I'm freaking out!!!!! I'm not ready, i can't be ready. Not yet. OK, freaking, freaking, falling, falling and I'm slowly falling asleep. So I'm just going to brace myself, put on my game face and face it. I have no choice, because either way it will happen, so i can either face it alert and ready, or drowsy and bad moody because of the lack of sleep, it's up to me. Even i can't make THAT choice. How can i make this one?