miss

Totally psyched about concert tomorrow! Just found out that my mom saw him down town the other day. It's weird but i just can't imagine him on his own in one of our... What used to be one of our hang out joints. Oh well. It's typical that i wasn't there. I really should go out more, maybe I'd see people more (obviously) I don't know why i am obsessing over this it is just that today i miss him more than ever and i don't know why.

Artistic yearbook

All of my art coursework is now done. My teacher was very proud and gave me a folder and new sketch book to keep me drawing! Yearbook is now finally being created, but with it comes photos. Photos that include me and i hate my photo being taken. people say i look fine but I'm convinced that i look stupid. Ah, well. I didn't see him today, i won't now for 10 days since it is now spring break! Me and a couple of friends have decided to keep in contact when school ends. Life moves on and since I'm terrified of change i am not feeling good about the next few months.

Woo-Hoo

I am so psyched! Finally good is happening in my life. By the way at club yesterday a friend of mine dragged me into another room and accused me of flirting with someone! She kept teasing me about it the whole time we were together! I don't think i was flirting... I hope not, i don't want to get involved with anyone, i don't think... Oh, balls. On bright side? Happy, happy, happy because new "Buffy the vampire slayer" comic is out now! YAY! YAY! YAY! In case you hadn't already figured it out I'm a HUGE fan!

Love

Will i ever fall in love? Doubt it. It's not just because of my trust issues but other things too. :( oh well who needs love anyways?

Nominations

Two exams today. They went OK. I think I'm gonna do alright in my ICT exam. Even though i have missed four years of lessons! :S Got nominated for some student award thing for over coming difficulties. Yay me. It was sweet of my friends to mention me in the vote though, I'm rather touched, didn't think they noticed me that much!

Thanks for the advice guys!

When i say leave i meant for good. No turning back and it would be such a difficult road but maybe a real fulfilling one too. The reason i'm so worried is that i'm scared he is going down the same path i went down and it's such a scary path, one that's hard to get off. But maybe you're right.I do need someone else. But i will do my exams and try my best!

To Sapphire

I have the opportunity to leave. To become someone else. But i don't know if it's what i want. Or if it's what's best. I also have to decide on colleges, whether to bother taking the next eleven exams and finally i don't know whether i should talk to him again because he seems so changed and unlike himself and i am worried that he is in self destruct mode.