Rest

Yes, i am aware that I'm being irrational and jealous but can you blame me? It's a wonder i even forgave him all those months ago! Sometimes i wonder if we really are strong enough to get through this. To make it out the other side. I don't know. But i guess only time will tell. For now i just have to let things go and soon enough things will take their place. If it's meant to be, it will happen. If not then there's not much else i can do. Oh, I'll fight for us, maybe he will too. But... I've done about all the fighting i can for now. I just want to rest now.

What if, but and maybe

I feel... Confused. It's typical that as soon as i decide to turn away and go it alone, he does something that makes me fall even more in love with him. It's like he knew what was going on inside my head and is fighting for us. Trying to prove that he hasn't changed. But I'm unsure. Things are going OK, but there's a thought in my mind, something telling me that it's all going to go wrong, something saying we won't make it. This time last year he was about to leave me. This time last year i had no clue about the heartbreak i was about to endure. What if history repeats itself. What if... But what if... Urgh! Why can't he just love me back. Why can't he just take me in his arms and make everything OK with his smile like he used to?

I wish...

... That i had someone to talk to.