Thursday, 2 April 2009
lies, ties and a random prize
I'm still covering for him, i had to play dumb to protect his stupid secret then i had to inform our tutor that someone is on to him which makes me feel quite small. URGH! I promised myself i would never get involved in his affairs again but i couldn't let him get hurt by this could i? But this is it now if the subject comes up again, i'll walk away. Either that or i'll bloody take the fall, i'm probably stupid enough... Today is a very bad day and it's only 9.00 am. I do not want to go to classes i just want to stay home and eat chocolate and ice cream. But life doesn't work that way. Jo walked me home from club the other night, we talked and she really made me feel better. I found out stuff i would never have guessed at. I suppose it just goes to show that even when you think you know someone, they're still full of surprises. Never assume.
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poetry of the damned
It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.
untitled
perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.
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