Sunday, 11 October 2009
Fear + loss = pain.
I feel so mixed up, but so empty. I feel hollow but not enough that all emotion is completely erased - that would be too kind. There's only one feeling left though: fear. Fear of losing him, fear that my plans for the future will backfire and fear that they will never happen. I hate this... I want it all to stop. I want him to hold me and tell me that everything will be OK but it won't be. Because one day he'll leave me again.
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poetry of the damned
It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.
untitled
perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.
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