Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Running away
I'm just wasting time on the computer whilst i wait for 6.00 pm. Then i can leave for club. I'm nervous about seeing him but excited to be seeing the guys again, it's been a bloody long week. Going to the dentist tomorrow... God help me! Friday I'm gonna go and see a movie and Saturday is the doctor who Easter special episode, YAY! This time next week I'm gonna be moving in with some relatives on the other side of town. That should be fun, seeing my little cousins everyday, sharing a room with either them or my older cousin... Or i could just sleep on the couch with their dog (I'm sure that would be better... Nah, only joking... Kind of) well, it will only be for a few days, just until i get my head sorted. I would be moving in this week but i have coursework which i cannot leave piled up on my desk and which i cannot take with me so I'll do it this week and then I'll move. Plus, I've got appointments up to my ears this week, i would not be able to get to them if i were miles away would i? OK now I'm just rambling... Nearly time to go... I've got an hour and a half... Oh well, I'm running out of things to say...
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poetry of the damned
It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.
untitled
perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.
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