I will...

I will live
I will die.
I will laugh
I will cry.
But i won't wait for you again
In the rain
Like i did last night.
Goodbye.

Friday, 27 March 2009

ARGH!

Today was... Boring? Weird? Annoying? All of the above? Lied through my teeth today. Had to, i don't want them knowing my business. So there's this guy at school and he makes a lot of gay jokes. All of a sudden this week he starts apologising to me for them. I asked him why (because no one in school is supposed to know except teachers and three friends) and apparently i came out in a citizenship class when me and him were still friends. But i can find three faults with that. 1. i never even entered a citizenship class when we were friends. 2. i never spoke about my sexuality with ANYONE except him and 3. that conversation never happened... Well it did but it's complicated and i did not speak. oh and fourth I'm not gay!!!!! I'm Bi. Don't like it tough! Oh and another thing, me and him haven't been friends for six months, this guy has only just started apologising now... ARGH! I don't care that they know i just want to know who outed me. It's gonna bug me now until i know.

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poetry of the damned


It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.

untitled


perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.