I will...

I will live
I will die.
I will laugh
I will cry.
But i won't wait for you again
In the rain
Like i did last night.
Goodbye.

Monday, 11 May 2009

Good vs Bad

First exam over. I think it went well, although i was concentrating more on not having an asthma attack than the actual paper. But all that considered i think it went just swimmingly. Humanities exam tomorrow. Joy. I can't believe we are leaving already, time has passed so quickly, although sometimes it feels like centuries have come and gone since even last year. At the moment i have phoenix (my budgie) sitting on my laptop chirping every time i type a letter in and walking all over the keyboard and quite frankly is getting in my way but i don't really mind i have a soft spot for cute animals. I don't know why. Ah that's better he has gone flying around the room now. Right where was i...? Oh yes, it feels like centuries have passed even though it's only been a year. In just one year i have changed so much that old friends do not even recognise me when they pass me in the street. I don't even recognise me when i look in the mirror. But like in so many other things i am unsure; i am unsure as to whether this change is good or bad.

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poetry of the damned


It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.

untitled


perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.