I will...

I will live
I will die.
I will laugh
I will cry.
But i won't wait for you again
In the rain
Like i did last night.
Goodbye.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Angels

Has something ever happened to you that has either re affirmed or made you question your faith? Because that is what happened to me today. For the first time in a long while i went out without my guardian angel pin. I had a bad asthma attack and i had to quickly get off the bus so i could suffer without being stared at. Once i was OK and able to breathe i realised i had no clue where i was. So i went over to the other side of the road to wait for another bus to take me home but it took so long i gave up and started walking home by following the bus stops. I had no money and didn't know the names of any roads (there just aren't enough signs anymore) so my only hope was walking. So i eventually got home after walking in desert heat, carrying a leather jacket, an extremely heavy bag and wearing a rather thick jumper AND having trouble breathing. Was it a coincidence that i didn't have my angel with me? I dunno, but it just seems weird.

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poetry of the damned


It's not fair.
I don't know who i am.
Why do i feel this way?
I'm never able to be myself. Not really.
There's always a piece locked away.
A secret i won't ever say.
A lie i'll never reveal.
I made a mistake. It cost me everything.
I'll never be the same again.
No one knows who i really am.
He thought he knew me, but he didn't.
She thought she saw me, but she didn't.
What they thought they knew and saw was a shadow of what was real.
Of what i really feel.
I'll never fit in. I'm an outsider. For that i thank God everyday!
Who wants to be cool when that includes getting drunk, smoking and screwing around?
But why does being an outsider have to be so hard?
I am different. More different than you know.
That's the point really... You will never know. Because i will never tell.

untitled


perseverance is what they say my strength is
They must be right
because i got hurt again tonight
Yet i'm still ready to love
Rebound is my second name
But not in the way you might think
I wish i could hate you
But i don't have the strength
One day my heart will not be able to hold on anymore
will not react to heartbreak with immunity
i think today is that day.