Anything

I think i would give anything to wind back the clock and anything to have him by my side again. I'm scared about this interview i have today and the future which is coming whether i am ready for it or not and all i want him to do is just hug me and tell me it will be OK. But he is not here and i do not have a time machine so i cannot go back and undo what caused us so much strife. It kills me everyday that i had a second chance and i blew it. It kills me that this is all my fault. But the truth is, is that i was in love with him and he just saw me as a friend so what good would that have been? I'll just keep telling myself that until i believe it. It's gonna be so hard leaving for college and never seeing him again. Why is he doing this to me? Why can't he give us another chance? But the question is: Do i want another chance with him? I keep telling myself that it's good we are not together anymore because he would have held me back. I mean, how hard would it have been to leave him if we were still friends? I wouldn't have done it. That would have been a mistake.