random thoughts, on random things

It's late. But i don't care. I don't wanna settle down, because when i do i'm haunted by the past and the past is not a pleasant place and i do not wanna go there again. I have just realised that i have family all over the world, it's kinda funny really. I'm rambling, what i really want to ramble about is him though. But i can't. It's still too painful. I'm gonna get my hair dyed a brighter red and cut above my shoulders on tuesday. And i'm gonna get my lip pierced soon, money problem or no. The school won't like it but i really don't care. I don't care about much these days. I've found that if you care too much about someone/thing it will only hurt so much more when they leave you. Because in the end everyone has to leave, whether it's their choice or not. i wonder about past lives, reincarnation, heaven, the after life and stuff like that alot. It's something that will continue to elude so many of us until we take that eternal sleep. That's a morbid thought... Ah well. Must sleep now. I'm soooooooo tired. I can't wait until i save enough money for a car and then i can go on a road trip around the UK and places that i would never have dreamed of. Now that's a pleasant thought!